Seriously! Can you believe this? I heard them talking about it during something called "breakfast" this morning. It turns out the "farm" I lived on was there strictly to raise and cut down trees! Who ever heard of such a thing? I gave those people 20 years of my life, and this is how they reward me?
It's the indignity of it all. First, they amputated my roots...oh, the pain! I could feel the sap dripping over the open wound. These were the same people that cared for me so delicately over the years--feeding me, watering me, gently trimming my branches to give me that perfect triangle shape that was the envy of all the other trees in the forest. Oh, how they betrayed me!
That was bad enough, but look at this contraption they put me through!
Now I know how Britney Spears' butt felt when she tried to squeeze into those pants she wore at the VMAs.
Then, in yet another insult to my pride, they strapped me to the top of something called a "minivan" as if I was some common field-dressed game animal, and drove me to their home.
I can't even talk about what happened next. Maybe tomorrow.
2 comments:
You've gone to the Christmastreetion Camp. Poor bastard.
"lighting bug": I used to watch your brethren fly around my field at night. How I miss them!
Post a Comment